Jealousy...
Oct. 19th, 2002 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alixandreaIs born of insecurity. It was my main problem with Stef, I didn't feel safe with him, I guess I just didn't trust him enough after everything.
But this is different.
We go to a gig, and there's gorgeous women on stage, Erik's staring at them for a bit, then he turns around and puts his hand in mine, and he says to me, 'can we have one?'
And I giggle and say 'OK'.
Because I trust him.
I moved in today finally, the last two days have been exhausting, Mum has been fantastic, driving carload after carload of STUFF to my new home. I can't understand where it all came from, there's just so MUCH of it! I was horrible and sharp with everyone, but they all put up with me. Both boys worked together to help fill the car (eye candy!! ;-) ) Mum has leant me enough to pay off the computer, so my finances are looking healthier. My entire body aches, and its so HARD to keep my eyes open right now. But I'm here right now, and here I will stay.
I'm safe.
I miss the flat, it was heartbreaking loading my life up and leaving the place that gave me and others so much over the last year. But I'm still here. I haven't had to give up and go back to Stortford, its October here in this beautiful city and I'm still here.
My life has just begun. Its nothing like I ever thought it would be, but its right here and right now, and I'm happy and glad.
And Whitby is in less than two weeks!! :-)
But this is different.
We go to a gig, and there's gorgeous women on stage, Erik's staring at them for a bit, then he turns around and puts his hand in mine, and he says to me, 'can we have one?'
And I giggle and say 'OK'.
Because I trust him.
I moved in today finally, the last two days have been exhausting, Mum has been fantastic, driving carload after carload of STUFF to my new home. I can't understand where it all came from, there's just so MUCH of it! I was horrible and sharp with everyone, but they all put up with me. Both boys worked together to help fill the car (eye candy!! ;-) ) Mum has leant me enough to pay off the computer, so my finances are looking healthier. My entire body aches, and its so HARD to keep my eyes open right now. But I'm here right now, and here I will stay.
I'm safe.
I miss the flat, it was heartbreaking loading my life up and leaving the place that gave me and others so much over the last year. But I'm still here. I haven't had to give up and go back to Stortford, its October here in this beautiful city and I'm still here.
My life has just begun. Its nothing like I ever thought it would be, but its right here and right now, and I'm happy and glad.
And Whitby is in less than two weeks!! :-)
