I don't know why I bother...
Feb. 26th, 2002 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alixandreaWe've _all_ failed our Music For Media course on a technicality. (The computers didn't save our work on the CDs in the way they should have...) For once the arsehole teacher has been sticking up for us and trying to persuade APU to let us have the marks, as he has seen what we've done and is satisfied. But technically we've all failed. I find this out on the day that I realise I have no reason in my head to stay on the course at all, other than that I am so close to finishing I might as well. Its basically a business course with a little music added in for good measure. Now I hate business, and I don't want to run my music career like a business. I don't know very much about music, just what feels right (I came from an acting background...) I have little electronic/computer knowledge and there's a lot of that as well. I went in originally with the idea of doing the BTEC ND, then perhaps progressing onto the higher course after. But Nick said as I had A-Levels I should apply for the HND, which I did. Gods only know how I passed the audition, but the way they are teaching us is assuming that we already have the ND or equivalent, even though they took a few of us on with no previous experience (and they _know this...) We are not taught, we are expected to know/look for the info ourselves. We are not given decent lists of the research books/info and we are expected to be able to do this course! What are they being paid for?!
Anyway, if we don't pass every module we fail the HND. So we've all effectively failed. Due to a subject we weren't really taught, that only one of us really had any idea how to do, and due to a technicality which means the stuff we saved didn't save the way it should have. Shithead said that if we had failed we could re-submit, 'you do have back-ups after all...' Well, no actually, because I didn't have the resources to do that and even if I had I would have saved the stuff in _exactly_ the same manner as the version I handed in! I said point-blank that I didn't want to have to do that part of the course again 'because I hated it.' Which I did. Plus its _extremely_ time-consuming and I want to be able to use that time on other more worthy projects.
I don't know why I'm on this course. I know the good things that have come from it, and I appreciate them. I'm living in Cambridge, I would never have even met Stef and the boat people, let alone started a band with him and Chas. In fact hell, I wouldn't even be here as I bought my computer for myself originally as an aid for the course. I wouldn't have met all the people I now care deeply about, I would never have joined Sluts... But right now there is nothing in my mind that should keep me on the course apart from the fact its so close to finishing. If I had been paying for my tuition fees I would have given up a long time ago. I received a letter from Herts council (where I used to live) asking if I wanted to think about teaching. And now I think about it I wouldn't mind being a primary school Drama teacher... Actually I don't know what I want to do, apart from be a singer...
Anyway, if we don't pass every module we fail the HND. So we've all effectively failed. Due to a subject we weren't really taught, that only one of us really had any idea how to do, and due to a technicality which means the stuff we saved didn't save the way it should have. Shithead said that if we had failed we could re-submit, 'you do have back-ups after all...' Well, no actually, because I didn't have the resources to do that and even if I had I would have saved the stuff in _exactly_ the same manner as the version I handed in! I said point-blank that I didn't want to have to do that part of the course again 'because I hated it.' Which I did. Plus its _extremely_ time-consuming and I want to be able to use that time on other more worthy projects.
I don't know why I'm on this course. I know the good things that have come from it, and I appreciate them. I'm living in Cambridge, I would never have even met Stef and the boat people, let alone started a band with him and Chas. In fact hell, I wouldn't even be here as I bought my computer for myself originally as an aid for the course. I wouldn't have met all the people I now care deeply about, I would never have joined Sluts... But right now there is nothing in my mind that should keep me on the course apart from the fact its so close to finishing. If I had been paying for my tuition fees I would have given up a long time ago. I received a letter from Herts council (where I used to live) asking if I wanted to think about teaching. And now I think about it I wouldn't mind being a primary school Drama teacher... Actually I don't know what I want to do, apart from be a singer...
